Energize Your Days: 5 Essential Tips for Keeping Up with Your Toddler

Energize Your Days: 5 Essential Tips for Keeping Up with Your Toddler
Caring for a toddler is a joyful yet demanding task. As a young mom, maintaining your energy while keeping up with your little one can feel overwhelming. Here are five essential tips to help you boost your energy levels (without caffeine!) and effectively engage with your toddler throughout the day.

1. Create an Engaging Play Environment with Fun Activities

Design a safe, stimulating play area that encourages independent play while incorporating enjoyable activities:
  • Toddler-Friendly Zone: Set up a designated space filled with age-appropriate toys and activities that spark curiosity.
  • Rotate Toys: Regularly change out toys to keep your child interested and engaged for longer periods.
  • Low-Impact Activities: Engage in activities like reading stories or doing simple arts and crafts projects while seated comfortably. This fosters bonding and learning without exhausting you.

2. Focus on High-Protein Nutrition for Sustained Energy

A balanced, protein-rich diet is crucial for maintaining high energy levels:
  • Prioritize Protein: Incorporate high-protein snacks and meals throughout the day. Options like Greek yogurt, cottage cheese, hard-boiled eggs, and nut butter provide sustained energy.
  • Nutrient-Dense Drinks: Consider adding the red juice from the 11 Day Jumpstart to your routine. This drink is packed with antioxidants, vitamins, and minerals.
  • Meal Prep: Prepare protein-packed meals in advance, such as chicken or egg or oat meals & snacks, ensuring you always have nutritious options ready.

3. Stay Hydrated for Optimal Performance

Proper hydration is essential for maintaining energy levels:
  • Keep Water Accessible: Always have a water bottle nearby to remind yourself to drink throughout the day.
  • Flavor Your Water: Add fruits like lemon or berries or cucumber to your water for taste and extra nutrients.
  • Protein Shakes: protein shakes can be a delicious way to increase protein intake while satisfying cravings. I personally like this one.

4. Involve Your Toddler in Daily Tasks

Transform routine chores into fun, engaging activities for your toddler:
  • Collaborative Cooking: Make meal preparation a joint effort by assigning simple tasks like washing vegetables or stirring batter.
  • Cleaning Games: Turn cleaning into a game with timed pick-up challenges or sorting activities. This keeps your toddler occupied while teaching valuable life skills.
  • Check out this book for more ideas on how to involve your toddler in daily life tasks!

5. Prioritize Sleep for Better Energy Management

Getting enough rest is vital for maintaining energy levels:
  • Establish a Sleep Routine: Aim to go to bed at the same time each night and create a calming bedtime routine that helps you unwind.
  • Nap When Possible: If your toddler naps during the day, take advantage of that time to rest or catch up on sleep.
  • Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to ask family or friends for babysitting help so you can enjoy some much-needed downtime.
  • Need more sleep ideas? Check out 11 Tips for Better Sleep without Side Effects
By implementing these strategies, you can effectively manage your energy levels while keeping up with your toddler. Remember to listen to your body, take breaks when needed, and cherish this special time with your little one! These tips not only enhance your daily routine but also create memorable experiences that benefit both you and your child.

God Has Quite the Sense of Humor

God Has Quite the Sense of Humor
God has quite the sense of humor, and His timing is always perfect.

Just yesterday, I wrote about a disappointing no-show playdate. Little did I know that God had something better in store for today.

This morning, we had playdate #2 scheduled with a sweet new friend, her daughter (who's almost Ellie's age), and her 9-week-old son. We had enjoyed our time together at the park two weeks ago, so I was looking forward to connecting again.

When she texted this morning saying her son didn't sleep well last night, my heart sank. I immediately thought, "Is she going to cancel?" But to my surprise and delight, she didn't! Instead, she graciously invited us to their home, adapting to her family's needs while still prioritizing our time together.

Our visit turned out to be incredibly sweet and meaningful. We shared conversations about parenting toddlers, navigating life with a new baby and a toddler, and swapped birth stories. The excitement of having our girls become friends, living just 6 minutes apart, filled us with joy and anticipation for future playdates.

Through this experience, God showed me the like-minded friend He's given me – another young mama looking for community, connection, and growth, both for herself and her children. What a precious gift!

This situation reminded me of some important lessons:
  1. God gives good gifts to His children.
  2. We need to be listening and attentive to His voice.
  3. Patience is key in receiving God's blessings.
  4. We must be willing to ask, wait, be still, and spend time with Him.
  5. It's crucial not to make assumptions about the outcomes of our obedience.
I'll admit, I was tempted to be cynical after yesterday's failed attempt. But if I had hardened my heart and not opened up during our playdate this morning, I would have missed out on discovering how truly like-minded my new friend is. I would have lost the opportunity to enjoy this sweet fellowship and the hope for more meaningful connections in the future.

As Matthew 7:9-11 reminds us:
"Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!"

Let this encourage you to remain open to God's perfect timing and the unexpected blessings He has in store. Don't let disappointments close your heart to new opportunities. Instead, trust in His goodness and be ready to receive the wonderful gifts He has planned for you.


Have you experienced God's perfect timing in your life recently? Share below and encourage others with how God has surprised you with His goodness!

What I Learned When No One Else Showed Up for the Playdate at the Park

What I Learned When No One Else Showed Up for the Playdate at the Park
This morning we showed up for a playdate at the park and no one else came.

There's more to this story... 👇🏼

Most people don't talk about the emotional and relational challenges of moving.

This move has been challenging so far. My husband is building a business and clientele, so he is working long hours without it being reflected in his pay (yet 🙏🏼).

This means I'm home with sweet Elliana long days by myself without friends to see or playdates to go on. (Which, we found a very nice home to rent, I can't complain there!) I moved here not knowing anyone except for my in-laws.

Making new friends and visiting churches has been challenging. It's summer. Apparently most people travel or are gone like, all summer long... at least, it appears so from the almost-empty-of-families church services we have been attending and the only-child-in-the-nursery reality that has been Ellie's most weeks. Is it really so hard to find a church with more than one young family regularly attending?! Frankly, it makes me feel like giving up trying until fall comes and people are back home for school.

This morning's playdate (where no one else came) was advertised in the bulletin at church this Sunday, a new place we haven't been to before this week. I was so hopeful. And then... well, you can see how that turned out.

It's tempting to think that because the people who planned it didn't even show up, why should we bother trying to connect with a church like that?

But we don't know if...
-they had a sick child
-their grandma passed away and suddenly they had to go to a funeral
-they deal with chronic pain and couldn't today
-they are struggling in marriage and something happened that morning

Or any other myriad of options that are real life prevented them from coming.

So, we are not giving up. Despite crying on the drive home wishing to not feel lonely...

God meets us in our need. I found myself listening to a song on the radio, through my tears:

"Oh, I have found a friend in Jesus. He is everything to me. I have found a friend in Jesus, Yes, He is my everything. Thank You, Lord."

And crying grateful tears instead of lonely ones. 

Even when I feel so lonely... Jesus is my closest friend.

I pray He is yours, too. ❤️

The problems are not all fixed. It's not suddenly easy being new here in IL.

But I am not alone, even if I feel lonely at times.

And that makes all the difference.

Why Work From Home Opportunities So Easily Fall Flat for Busy Moms (And What to Do About It)

Why Work From Home Opportunities So Easily Fall Flat for Busy Moms (And What to Do About It)
In our digital age, the promise of work-from-home opportunities has become a beacon of hope for many, especially busy moms juggling the demands of family and needing to help provide. The allure is undeniable: flexible hours, no commute, and the chance to be more present for your children. However, despite the potential benefits, many work-from-home opportunities fall flat for busy moms. The last one is the most important, but let’s explore some of the reasons why this happens and how we might navigate these challenges.

The Myth of Flexibility

One of the main attractions of work-from-home jobs is the promise of flexibility. The idea is that you can work whenever it suits you, fitting tasks around your family’s schedule. However, the reality is often starkly different. Many remote jobs require set hours or availability during typical business hours, which can be difficult to manage with school runs, meal preparations, and other household responsibilities. Even roles that claim to offer flexibility might still have deadlines and expectations that clash with the unpredictable nature of family life. And let's face it, if the job is flexible but we lack discipline, we may neglect it and struggle to get the job done or business off the ground.

The Struggle for Focus

Working from home requires a significant amount of self-discipline and the ability to focus amidst distractions. For busy moms, finding a quiet, uninterrupted space can be nearly impossible. Children may need attention at any moment, household chores are constant, and the boundaries between work and home life blur. This can lead to fragmented work periods, decreased productivity, and a sense of never fully accomplishing either work or parenting duties.

The Lack of Professional Support

In a traditional office setting, employees have access to various forms of support: from IT help desks to administrative assistance, and the camaraderie of colleagues. Working from home can be isolating, leaving busy moms without immediate access to professional help or peer support. This isolation can hinder professional development and make problem-solving more time-consuming and stressful. (I have found an amazing solution to this lack of support -- Home Based Revolution course has been a game changer for me in finding both professional support in my business as well as community to bounce ideas off of.)

The Unseen Emotional Labor

Managing a household is a full-time job in itself. The mental load of keeping track of schedules, groceries, appointments, and the myriad of other responsibilities can be overwhelming. Adding a remote job into the mix often means that busy moms are working two full-time jobs simultaneously. This can lead to burnout, where neither the job nor the home life receives the full attention and energy it deserves.

The Technology Trap

While technology enables remote work, it also introduces a new set of challenges. Reliable internet, functioning hardware, and familiarity with various software tools are prerequisites that are often taken for granted. Busy moms may find themselves troubleshooting technical issues more often than they would like, which can add to their stress and reduce the time available for actual work.

The Solution: Finding Balance

Despite these challenges, it is possible for work-from-home opportunities to succeed for busy moms. Here are a few strategies to help navigate the complexities:

1. Set Clear Boundaries: Designate specific work hours for the week and communicate them to your family. Use this time exclusively for professional tasks and avoid household chores during these periods.
2. Create a Dedicated Workspace: Establish a specific area for work to help create a physical and mental boundary between job and home responsibilities. If this is a challenge, even putting up a specific sign on the table while you are working or a specific folder for tasks next to your computer can remind you and others in your home that it is now mom's work time.
3. Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to ask for help. Whether it's hiring a babysitter for a few hours a day or seeking flexible arrangements with employers, support is crucial.
4. Prioritize Self-Care: Regularly take time for yourself to recharge. Self-care is not a luxury; it’s a necessity to prevent burnout and maintain productivity.
5. Leverage Technology: Use tools and apps designed to improve productivity and organization. Calendar apps, task managers, and project management tools can help streamline work processes and manage time more effectively.

The Most Important Factor: Mindset Shift

While all the above strategies are essential, the most important factor is a mindset shift. Busy moms need to adopt a mindset that empowers them to take control of their time and boundaries and trajectory in life. This is where concepts from Big Think come into play, encouraging moms to think expansively about their capabilities and potential and goals.

Adopting a growth mindset and putting it to use practically can lead to breakthroughs. This involves seeing challenges as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable obstacles, and understanding that seeking help or taking time for personal development is not a sign of weakness, but of strength and wisdom.

By reimagining their roles and embracing a mindset that prioritizes both personal and professional growth, busy moms can create a fulfilling and balanced work-from-home experience. This mental shift is the key to transforming the way they approach both work and family life, leading to greater satisfaction and success in both areas.

A Music Teacher's Guide to Time Blocking

A Music Teacher's Guide to Time Blocking
As a music teacher, your schedule is likely filled with various responsibilities, from lesson planning and teaching sessions to administrative tasks and personal commitments. In the midst of these demands, finding time for everything can be challenging. But by implementing a strategic approach like time blocking, you can take control of your schedule and maximize your productivity during those small windows of time. Let's explore the concept of time blocking and how music teachers can use it to manage their time more effectively.

What is Time Blocking? Time blocking is a productivity technique that involves dividing your day into distinct blocks of time, each dedicated to specific tasks or activities. Rather than bouncing between tasks haphazardly, time blocking encourages focused work by allocating dedicated time slots for different types of activities. By organizing your day in this way, you can minimize distractions, improve concentration, and accomplish more in less time.

How Music Teachers Can Benefit from Time Blocking
Music teachers can reap numerous benefits from implementing time blocking into their daily routine:

  1. Enhanced Focus: By allocating dedicated blocks of time for tasks like lesson planning, teaching, and administrative work, you can minimize distractions and maintain focus on the task at hand. Less distraction means more done in less time!
  2. Improved Productivity: Time blocking allows you to prioritize important tasks and allocate sufficient time to complete them effectively, resulting in increased productivity and efficiency. This feels good!
  3. Better Work-Life Balance: By scheduling specific blocks of time for work-related tasks and personal activities, you can create a more balanced schedule that allows for adequate time for rest, relaxation, and family commitments. I get so much done in dedicated 15-30 minute blocks of time!
  4. Reduced Stress: With a structured schedule in place, you can alleviate the stress and anxiety that often comes from feeling overwhelmed by a long list of tasks and responsibilities. The flexibility of this approach allows you not to work too long or too much as well.
How to Implement Time Blocking:
  1. Identify Your Priorities: Start by identifying the most important tasks and activities in your day-to-day life as a music teacher. This may include lesson planning, teaching sessions, administrative work, personal practice time, and leisure activities.
  2. Allocate Time Blocks: Divide your day into blocks of time, with each block dedicated to a specific task or activity. Be realistic about the time needed for each task, and don't forget to include buffer time for unexpected interruptions or transitions between activities. Make sure you dedicate the time blocks where you are most alert and awake and inspired for the more challenging, brain-heavy tasks!
  3. Stick to Your Schedule: Once you've established your time blocks, commit to sticking to your schedule as much as possible. Avoid the temptation to multitask or deviate from your plan, and instead focus on completing each task within its designated time frame. Set a timer and turn your phone to airplane mode for minimal distractions!
  4. Review and Adjust: Periodically review your time blocking schedule to assess its effectiveness and make any necessary adjustments. Be flexible and willing to adapt your schedule as needed to accommodate changes in workload or priorities or family obligations.
  5. Use Tools and Resources: Utilize tools such as digital calendars, scheduling apps, or traditional planners to help you organize and visualize your time blocking schedule. Experiment with different methods until you find the approach that works best for you. I use Google Calendar and the tasks feature to organize my time effectively.

    Time blocking can be a valuable tool for music teachers seeking to manage their time more effectively and increase their productivity. By allocating dedicated blocks of time for different tasks and activities and projects, you can enhance focus, productivity, and work-life balance. Whether you're scheduling teaching sessions, lesson planning, or personal practice time, incorporating time blocking into your routine can help you make the most of your time and achieve your goals as a music educator without feeling burnt out.

The Role of Community: Building a Support System for Music Educator Moms

The Role of Community: Building a Support System for Music Educator Moms

The Role of Community: Building a Support System for Music Educator Moms

Being a music educator mom comes with its unique set of challenges. Balancing the demands of a teaching career, nurturing a family, and pursuing personal passions can be overwhelming. Let's explore the indispensable role of community in the life of a music educator mom and how building a strong support system can be a game-changer.

1. Connect with Fellow Music Educator Moms:

Reach out to other music educator moms in your local community or online. Sharing experiences, tips, and challenges with those who understand the intricacies of both music education and motherhood can be immensely comforting. Attend local events, join online forums, and foster connections that go beyond professional networking.

2. Create a Collaborative Learning Environment:

Establish a collaborative learning environment where music educator moms can exchange teaching strategies, resources, and creative ideas. This not only enriches your teaching methods but also creates a space for mutual growth and inspiration and is especially important for freelance teachers!

3. Organize Supportive Playgroups for Children:

Coordinate playgroups or activities where music educator moms can bring their children. This not only provides an opportunity for your kids to interact and play but also allows you to bond with other teacher moms. Building these connections can lead to shared childcare responsibilities, easing the load for everyone involved! 

4. Attend Professional Development Workshops Together:

Explore professional development opportunities tailored for music educators. Attend workshops or conferences together to enhance your teaching skills and stay updated on industry trends. Sharing these experiences with other music educator moms can foster a sense of professional camaraderie while also allowing our shared knowledge and experience to bolster one another. We're better together!

5. Establish a Virtual Support Network:

In today's digital age, geographical distances should not hinder connections. Create a virtual support network through social media groups or messaging apps, or join Freelance Music Teacher Moms already set up! This platform can serve as a quick resource for advice, encouragement, and a virtual shoulder to lean on during challenging times.

Navigating the intersection of music education and motherhood is undoubtedly a complex journey. By actively building a community of like-minded individuals, you not only enrich your professional life but also create a valuable support system that understands and celebrates the unique challenges and triumphs of being a music educator mom. Together, we can combine professional and personal life, creating a space for both support and encouragement.


Hunt, Gather, Parent Book Review: A Christian Mom's Perspective

Hunt, Gather, Parent Book Review: A Christian Mom's Perspective
As a Christian mom, "Hunt, Gather, Parent" by Michaeleen Doucleff struck a chord with my values rooted in Christian teachings. The book takes readers on a journey across cultures and time, introducing parenting strategies that align surprisingly pretty well, for the most part, with biblical principles. One of the key takeaways for me was the emphasis on emotional control, where parents model the art of regulating emotions to reduce tantrums in children. This resonates deeply with the biblical concept of patience and self-control, virtues we aim to instill in our little ones (by the Holy Spirit's help as parents and hopefully also for our children one day).

Doucleff's exploration of autonomy and allowing children to safely navigate risks also resonates with the Christian belief in empowering our children while providing guidance. The book encourages a delicate balance between granting autonomy and ensuring a safe space for exploration, mirroring the Christian approach to guiding our children towards responsible decision-making within the framework of faith. The idea of valuing children's and adults' attention and honoring them by not interrupting or distracting makes a lot of sense.

The emphasis on motivating children without resorting to bribes or threats aligns with the Christian value of nurturing intrinsic motivation and a sense of duty. It reminded me of biblical teachings on the importance of cultivating a generous and helpful spirit in our children, encouraging them to contribute positively to their communities. Along with this, she talks about praise and the issues it can create for children. I liked that she talks about lowering the amount of praise from parents. Giving thoughtful feedback or pointing out their maturity to benefit children is more work for parents, but so much more motivational.

I also really liked the emphasis on community and family -- parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles all invested in the children together, training them up in helpfulness (seeing a need and meeting it), taking care of younger siblings, and choosing activities that all members of the family participate in rather than child-centered activities (which she defines as activities we would only do if we had a child to take vs an activity we'd do regardless of if a child was along).

One point where my perspective differed was in the notion of not disciplining at all and allowing children to hit you (for example) without any response, ignoring it. As a Christian parent, I believe in the importance of loving discipline as Scripture says. Yet, the book's emphasis on controlling one's own frustration before addressing a child's behavior resonated strongly. This aligns perfectly with what the Bible warns about avoiding the pitfalls of disciplining in anger.

"Hunt, Gather, Parent" not only provides practical strategies and tools for our parenting, but also prompts reflective consideration of our own behaviors as parents. The insights gleaned from diverse cultures serve as a valuable complement to Western parenting principles, offering a broader perspective on raising considerate, responsible, and compassionate children. This book serves as a helpful resource, inviting parents to explore alternative approaches to parenting than the typical Western approach.

How to Set Boundaries and Avoid Burnout in Your Freelance Teaching Journey

How to Set Boundaries and Avoid Burnout in Your Freelance Teaching Journey

How to Set Boundaries and Avoid Burnout in Your Freelance Teaching Journey

Embarking on a freelance teaching journey can be an exhilarating yet challenging transition, especially when balancing the demands of a career, motherhood, and attempting time for self-care. If you find yourself in a whirlwind of exhaustion and uncertainty, you're not alone. If you're a music teacher mom who dreams of breaking free from the hamster wheel of a 9-5, pursuing her passion for music, and creating a thriving freelance business, keep reading. Let's delve into practical strategies for setting boundaries and steering clear of burnout in this exciting new chapter that I wish I knew sooner!

1. Define Your Priorities:

Begin by identifying your core priorities. As a mom, your family's well-being is probably at the top of the list. Allocate time for your children, partner, and yourself. Recognize that it's okay to prioritize your needs alongside your professional pursuits, even if some of your professional pursuits do line up at times with something you need to prioritize for yourself. I know I am a much better mom because I work 2 days/week!

2. Establish Clear Work Hours:

Freelancing often blurs the lines between work and personal life. Set specific work hours to create a clear boundary between your professional and family life. Communicate these hours with your clients and stick to them as closely as possible. Dedicate uninterrupted time to your family when you're having family time rather than getting pulled away by work emails or other obligations. Utilizing tech tools like a scheduler have REALLY helped me with this!

3. Delegate and Seek Support:

Recognize that you can't do everything alone! This was a hard one for me at first but has made a world of a difference. Delegate tasks both at home and in your business. Whether it's hiring a virtual assistant, seeking help with household chores, or involving your partner in childcare responsibilities... building a support system for your family and your business to run efficiently and effectively is crucial.

4. Prioritize Self-Care:

Fulfilling your role as a music teacher, mom, and freelancer requires a healthy and energized you. Schedule regular self-care activities, whether it's a short walk, meditation, or indulging in a hobby (my current one is homemade yogurt with this starter and sourdough! Haha) Taking care of yourself is not a luxury but a necessity. If you're noticing you're dealing with more fatigue, sleep issues, irritability, or sluggishness than normal, perhaps consider trying out the 11 Day Jumpstart to lower chronic inflammation. It helped me SO much!

5. Set Up Systems for Success:

Freelancing can be unpredictable, but setting realistic and achievable goals as well as creating efficient systems to accomplish those goals is key to maintaining balance. Break down larger objectives into smaller, manageable tasks, allowing you to celebrate victories along the way. If you need help with organization of your personal life and business while still living in the unpredictability of family life and creativity (I found after becoming a mom, I really needed someone to guide me in this aspect), I have an amazing friend named Danelle Fowler who is available for 1-1s to drill down on this with you. You can reserve a time on her schedule here!


Which of these practical strategies for setting boundaries and steering clear of burnout do you think you most need to implement for yourself? Come chat about it in Freelance Music Teacher Moms as we figure out this delicate balance of creative work and family life!

5 Natural Resources for Moms on a Budget

Being a crunchy mom on a budget means wanting to incorporate natural and holistic approaches to parenting while also being mindful of your finances. Here are five resources that can help you navigate this lifestyle without breaking the bank:

1. Natural Parenting Blogs and Forums:
   - Mothering.com: This is a community-driven website that covers topics like natural childbirth, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, and more. The forums are especially helpful for connecting with other like-minded parents.
   - Mama Natural: While not exclusively for moms who want to homebirth or birth center, this blog offers a wealth of information on natural living from pregnancy through toddlerhood.
   - The Hippy Homemaker: This blog focuses on DIY natural living with an emphasis on budget-friendly options. It covers everything from natural beauty products to healthy recipes.

2. Library and Online Articles:
   - Your local library is a treasure trove of resources. You can find books on natural parenting, herbal remedies, and eco-friendly living.
   - Many online platforms have articles and guides on budget-friendly crunchy living. Look for blogs or websites dedicated to topics like natural parenting, sustainable living, and eco-friendly products.

3. Social Media and Online Communities:
   - Platforms like Facebook, Reddit, and Instagram have groups and pages dedicated to natural lifestyle and parenting. You can join communities where members share tips, advice, and budget-friendly ideas. A great one is Happy Healthy and Loving Life -- you can write my name, Andrea Orem, in the membership question asking who referred you there!

4. DIY and Homemade Products:
   - Learning to make your own products can save a lot of money. You can find recipes for homemade cleaning supplies, baby products, and even personal care items like shampoos and lotions. One of my most-used ingredients in our DIY items is castile soap.
   - Websites like Pinterest and blogs mentioned earlier often have a plethora of DIY recipes. If you need some recommendations, I'm happy to send some your way, just ask! I have lots of cloth diaper, natural recipes and other recommendations I could point you to.

5. Local Farmers' Markets and Co-ops:
   - Buying organic and locally-sourced food can be more affordable when you shop at farmers' markets or participate in a community-supported agriculture (CSA) program.
   - Many co-ops also offer bulk buying options for pantry staples like grains, beans, and spices at a lower cost.
   - My state has a "Farm Direct" site and Facebook group for farmers to connect directly with consumers, which cuts the cost down a LOT. If you're in Minnesota, connect with me if you'd like an invite! And if not, try searching for your own local area to see if one exists.

Remember, being on a budget doesn't mean you have to compromise your crunchy lifestyle. It often means finding creative ways to incorporate natural and holistic practices into your life without overspending. These resources can help you discover affordable alternatives and connect with a community that shares your values.