Exhausted.
That was the emotion I thought I felt. I know, I know.... exhaustion doesn't sound like an emotion word, but I felt it in my bones, I lived it day by day and hour by hour.
That weight of never being done practicing or lesson planning. The long hours under fluorescent lights, trying to study through the pain or finish up cleaning recorders before running home to teach lessons and finally collapsing in bed after scrambling to put a semblance of a meal together. The loneliness of working non-stop, rushing from class to class without true connection with another adult.
The lack of deep friendship and understanding. The never feeling good enough. The push push push without relief, without let-up. The feeling like "classroom" teachers aka grade level teachers (I never liked that term, don't I teach in a classroom too?!) were superior just because we provided their prep time during the day to have a full, uninterrupted hour to plan while we were left with the scraps of 10/20/30 minute chunks to try to get something meaningful accomplished before running out to do bus duty.
This was the biggest thing, though, that I felt when in the rat-race of the typical college education degree and subsequent years of teaching in public education: Exhaustion.
This is why burn-out happens so quickly and easily, especially with the younger generation. Why?
Because we've pulled back the curtain, we've seen that it doesn't and shouldn't have to be this way.
That was the emotion I thought I felt. I know, I know.... exhaustion doesn't sound like an emotion word, but I felt it in my bones, I lived it day by day and hour by hour.
That weight of never being done practicing or lesson planning. The long hours under fluorescent lights, trying to study through the pain or finish up cleaning recorders before running home to teach lessons and finally collapsing in bed after scrambling to put a semblance of a meal together. The loneliness of working non-stop, rushing from class to class without true connection with another adult.
The lack of deep friendship and understanding. The never feeling good enough. The push push push without relief, without let-up. The feeling like "classroom" teachers aka grade level teachers (I never liked that term, don't I teach in a classroom too?!) were superior just because we provided their prep time during the day to have a full, uninterrupted hour to plan while we were left with the scraps of 10/20/30 minute chunks to try to get something meaningful accomplished before running out to do bus duty.
This was the biggest thing, though, that I felt when in the rat-race of the typical college education degree and subsequent years of teaching in public education: Exhaustion.
This is why burn-out happens so quickly and easily, especially with the younger generation. Why?
Because we've pulled back the curtain, we've seen that it doesn't and shouldn't have to be this way.
Do I judge any of my teacher friends for continuing to choose the public system, or friends who have kids in that system? Absolutely not! What is right for me in these situations may not be right for you, and vice versa. What I DO know, though, is that there are SO many teachers like me, well-meaning and very good, but just not suited for the mold that is public education.
In particular I have created a space where I no longer have to feel caught in the middle to provide for my family.
I can have BOTH. I can experience the joy of teaching AND make a good income (a lot more than I did as a young public school teacher). I can experience rest AND meaningful work. I can lesson plan AND have time to use the restroom whenever I want. I can enjoy kids and their smiles and laughter in large or small group settings AND go home at a reasonable time of day to make dinner for my family and enjoy the sunshine and snuggling my dog. I can get all I need to done and more AND have my weekend to myself now!
There's more to this life than work. But I wanted my work to be fulfilling and meaningful and have IMPACT.
I can choose how to run my schedule now. I choose my hours. And I don't have to teach private music lessons unless I want to (which I do, but it's my choice, not my duty to make a few extra $).
And you can too. It's not rocket science. :) But there are practical steps and considerations to make. Come learn with me how.
In particular I have created a space where I no longer have to feel caught in the middle to provide for my family.
I can have BOTH. I can experience the joy of teaching AND make a good income (a lot more than I did as a young public school teacher). I can experience rest AND meaningful work. I can lesson plan AND have time to use the restroom whenever I want. I can enjoy kids and their smiles and laughter in large or small group settings AND go home at a reasonable time of day to make dinner for my family and enjoy the sunshine and snuggling my dog. I can get all I need to done and more AND have my weekend to myself now!
There's more to this life than work. But I wanted my work to be fulfilling and meaningful and have IMPACT.
I can choose how to run my schedule now. I choose my hours. And I don't have to teach private music lessons unless I want to (which I do, but it's my choice, not my duty to make a few extra $).
And you can too. It's not rocket science. :) But there are practical steps and considerations to make. Come learn with me how.
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